Ryan satire that you almost can't make up

...because it sounds pretty much like the real guy.

The Onion satirical newspaper has a "major news story" up with the following headline:

"Congress Passes First Law in History That Doesn't Somehow Kill Thousands of Ducks"

The story itself goes on to "report" this:

> ... The law, designed to track suspicious interstate financial transactions, passed with an overwhelming majority in both houses and did not cause the usual hail of dead ducks to fall from the sky... .

> According to congressional sources, the outcome of the legislation likely would have been different if Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) had been successful is his attempt to add a provision to the bill calling for 14,000 ducks to be stabbed to death.

Yup, that's our Pauly: Mangling figurative baby ducks for political fun and profit.